JewNewsNet

Disclaimer: The material below is of a satirical nature.

Jews of the world:

We have been accused several times over the past millennium of using the blood of Christian babies to bake our traditional Passover matzos. I don’t want to confirm or deny these allegations. However, considering our obligation to uphold our reputations as cheap – I think it’s only appropriate that we discuss the economic pros and cons of using the blood of Christian babies as opposed to plain water.

Now, from a pure economic standpoint, the blood of a christian baby can only make approximately 50 matzahs. Whereas water can make an indefinite amount. And since no death is involved in the making of a water-matzoh – it would increase the chances of us staying in the same town for more than a year!

But what about tradition?

In an interview with Yosse the “Barber,” I had the opportunity to pick his brain about the differences between an official blood-matzah and your common water-matzah. “Vel, de blood-matzah helps you fulfill your Passover obligation een de most strictest of senses – veras ze water-matzeh only fulfills it half-tuchessed” he said, adding: “plus, you just can’t beat zat home-made pure blood-matzah taste!”

Clearly water is a possible alternative – but should we sacrifice our tradition for it? What do you think?